I find myself with all the time in the world. I’m unemployed with no kids. My wife and I have 2 dogs and a cat. Other than that I have basically 0 responsibility. I need to take care of myself and do laundry, but that’s all pretty easy. At this point in my life doing the basic adult things are easy. I haven’t been unemployed that long so we still have means to some extent. I’m not chartering jets wherever I want to go, but if there’s something within reason I want I can just go get it. So here I am with time, space, and means. I can pretty much do anything, but what about energy? I find that there’s a big difference between what I want to do and what I feel like doing. I’m writing this to explore that topic.
What I want to do are things that I enjoy both short term and long term. Sitting here and writing this is something that I want to do. If you’re unsure about what you want to do or what I mean here’s a quick exercise… sit down at the beginning of the day and write down things you want to do. You can even put them in some kind of logical or priority order. I’d suggest doing this on a day when you don’t have to work. Maybe you actually like your job, but even then there are things you don’t like to do. This list is a list of things you want to do. Golf is a good example for me. I like golf. I want to golf. I want to get better at golf. It’s a fun game and can be a fun time beyond just the game. When I wake up to go golfing though sometimes I don’t feel like it.
Things I feel like doing vary minute to minute. This is more about the present moment, and where more negative actions come in. What I feel like doing is usually some subset of what I want to do. However, there are other things that fall into this category that aren’t very productive. These are things like Netflix, social media, or just plain procrastination. I find that I feel like doing less than I want most of the time. This is the part of me that doesn’t like to commit to plans too far ahead of time. What I feel like doing changes minute to minute, and has a profound impact on my mood.
Right now I’m able to explore these things without much interference. I have space and time. What I’m finding is that the difference between what I want to do and what I feel like doing is mostly about managing energy. Want and feel tend to match up nicely when I have a lot of energy. Feel gets louder as I have less energy though. I’ve noticed this time and again with golf… if I get a good night sleep before golf I want to go and feel like going. If I wake up tired or hungover I don’t feel like going. Golf is a multi-hour commitment that requires some level of physical output. What about something like video games? I want to play video games. I’ve had fun in the past. Beyond the sheer silly entertainment value I find it enjoyable to get good at games. The mastery of a new skill is fun. However, I rarely feel like playing video games. It’s usually about energy. I don’t feel like putting in the energy to play a game. It’s obviously not physical, but it does take mental energy to learn. It also takes mental energy in the form of frustration because I’m not good. Energy seems to be the key to doing what I want vs. doing what I feel like.
While this is easy enough to say I’m not very good at managing energy. I find that I don’t have energy when I want it. My only remedy has come in the form of coffee. I used to love energy drinks, but gave them up for the most part. I will use 5hr energy here and there if I have a long car ride or something, but I mostly stick to coffee. I don’t know another way to manage energy well… nap maybe? Maybe I just need to get up and get after it. I need to just stop thinking about it and do. I really don’t know. This is the piece I’m struggling with, and it makes all the difference between doing what I want vs. what I feel like.